Apologizing + Appreciating
In her book The High 5 Habit, Mel Robbins gives some great examples of how simply shifting the way we speak and express ourselves can empower us, transform our level of confidence and improve our relationships. Feeling empowered, believing in yourself and having strong relationships are all very important for your healing process.
Do you ever apologize when it would be better to appreciate? Mel gives these examples of when saying sorry can be a form of insecurity and destructive guilt: “...I’m sorry to ask you to do this. I’m sorry to bother you. I’m sorry that I’m a vegan, you didn’t have to make something special for me, I could’ve just eaten my napkin.”
My sister and I both played on the tennis team in high school and we both had the bad habit of apologizing every time we missed the ball. “Oh no, I’m sorry... oh, I’m so sorry... oh shoot, I’m sorry!!” I remember our coach telling us to stop apologizing and just focus on hitting the next ball!
Instead of apologizing, let’s focus on what we are able to do and be grateful for how others love us, encourage us and support us.
Instead of “I’m sorry to bother you and waste your time”… “Thank you so much for your time, I really appreciate it!”
Instead of “I’m sorry, I don’t have time right now”… “I don’t have time right now, but thank you so much for thinking of me!”
Instead of “I’m sorry you went through so much trouble just for me”… “Thank you so much for all you have done for me!”
Mel refers to this shift in the way we express ourselves as an example of living our high five lives. Instead of expressing ourselves with unnecessary guilt or insecurity, we have an opportunity to empower ourselves, set healthy boundaries and show our love and gratitude.