People Do Care
Have you ever got excited to share something on social media and the thought crossed your mind “Nobody cares.” or “Nobody gives a shit.”? I have, and I often choose to ignore those thoughts because my desire to help others outweighs my fear of nobody caring what I have to say.
I’ve been doing a lot of mind work and staying aware of my thoughts while trying out some NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques. A few nights ago, after reflecting on and practicing the Auditory Swish Process, something happened where I was able to discover the root of where those thoughts came from.
In NLP: The Essential Guide, it is suggested to listen very carefully to that voice, to notice where it is coming from, to try to identify whose voice it is and what the context is. As I listened to this voice, it was coming from behind my head, but it was unidentifiable. It didn’t seem angry or mean, just sort of matter-of-fact.
I practiced the techniques where you turn down the volume of the negative thought and then turn up the volume of a positive thought such as “People do care.” There was also the concept of hearing the negative thought being washed away with the sound of the surf on the beach. The negative thought fades out and is replaced with the positive thought.
Right after I finished reading that chapter in the NLP book and practicing that technique in my mind, I went downstairs to chat with my daughters. They mentioned their concern for someone who was feeling anxious about something. I didn’t want this person to worry about it, so I just blurted out, “Nobody cares about that”. I realized instantly that I felt protective of this person, I felt that they didn’t need to be anxious and everything was going to be fine.
This made me realize and recognize that the “Nobody cares.” that was in my head was originally said to me as a form of protection. I didn't remember an exact moment or specific time it was said to me. However, I was overwhelmed with emotion when I pictured myself as a shy middle schooler upset and insecure trying to figure out what to wear to school. I can hear my mom, dad or big sister saying “Nobody cares what you wear, everyone loves you for who you are.”
I then remembered being in high school getting ready to go out with my friends, stressing about my newly permed frizz ball mess of hair, the zit on my nose or the jeans that didn’t look right. I can hear my friends saying “Nobody gives a shit, you still look pretty.”
Then a specific memory became clear in my mind. When I was in 8th grade, I had a solo singing part in the musical Bye Bye Birdie. When I enthusiastically went to belt out my lines, “Hi Alice! What’s the story, morning glory? What’s the word, hummingbird?” my voice cracked for all to hear. I was mortified. After the musical, my mom said, “Nobody cares that your voice cracked, it actually sounded like you meant to do that. It sounded great and everybody loved it.”
A phrase that was originally used to protect me and encourage me, somehow got misinterpreted in my mind and was now limiting me and discouraging me. My mind somehow lost the second part of the sentence and twisted it into something that was untrue. I held onto that thought to protect myself. Now I choose to complete the sentence and speak what is really true.
The truth is nobody does care that I’m not perfect. And not everybody cares, but some people, my family and friends do care about me and what I have to say. If you have something to say, to teach, encourage, motivate or inspire others, say it! People do care.