You Can’t Stop The Girl
“You can't stop the girl from going
You can't stop the world from knowing
The truth will set you free…”
- You Can’t Stop The Girl by by Bebe Rexha
When I was 13 years old, my parents brought me to a doctor to take a food intolerance test. Under “Please specify the symptoms you encounter with respect to foods” my dad wrote: “uptightness”. I laugh out loud when I read this. I think the term anxiety wasn’t as common back then. Besides being uptight, anxious and nervous as a teenager, I also had chronic headaches and stomachaches.
Based on the test results, the doctor wrote on the back of the paper, “3 weeks, no sugar or chocolate, ice cream or eggs, no diet foods or drinks. Can have noodles every 4th day & just about everything else. No sodium benzoic (additives to foods). Can have baked goods that have no eggs or sugar.”
I’m pretty sure I did nothing about this advice at that time. For many years, antacids worked for my stomach issues and the pain-relief meds took away my headaches, so I wasn’t motivated to make any changes to my diet. I did stop eating chocolate for several years, thinking it was helpful to reduce my headaches and zits. Instead of chocolate I found other desserts to enjoy, as in any sweet treat that didn’t have chocolate in it.
I had the understanding that food could affect many aspects of my life and over time I tried a variety of things to control what, when and how much I ate. I discovered in college that if I drank too many large mocha shakes for lunch and then had pizza at midnight, I would gain the freshman fifteen before the end of the first semester. I also learned that I could eat a bagel for breakfast, have a green apple gum-filled lollipop for lunch and not feel that hungry until I had some pasta for dinner. I could lose weight by eating a lot less.
Then my junior year abroad in France, my normal daily routine was a glass of orange juice for breakfast, an almond croissant or lemon tart for lunch and a few bites of whatever my host family made for dinner. I was thin, too thin, but I felt like I was in control. What I didn’t realize was that eating such a small amount of food, mostly processed sugary food, was throwing off my hormones. I lost my period for several months and developed acne on my chin. I also was depressed and very tired, taking naps whenever possible between classes.
Then after college, in my 20s, I thought I was healthy being a vegetarian, eating lots of bagel, egg and cheese sandwiches, cereal with soy milk, granola bars, pasta and pizza. I ate a lot of gluten, dairy, eggs and processed foods. I felt anxious, depressed and tired a lot of the time. Then in my 30s, when I was going through infertility, I ate whatever I wanted, thinking that it might be helpful to put on some weight and try to relax.
I kept trying to do my best to control what I ate and to achieve what I wanted to, but I was missing something. I didn’t understand the value of eating mostly whole foods and avoiding processed foods. It wasn’t until about 30 years after I took that food intolerance test, did I get to a point where I was willing to totally shift my diet. I was depressed and anxious and I wanted to have more joy, more peace, more energy and more patience for my family and everyone around me.
Since then I have discovered that smoothies, salads, soups, mostly fruits and vegetables, some chicken, turkey, fish, tofu, nuts, seeds, beans, no gluten, dairy or eggs and limited sugar, chocolate and sweets works for me. I rarely get headaches, I rarely have stomach aches, I usually have a lot of energy and my mood is much more happy, peaceful and stable than it ever was.
There is no one diet that is right for all people. Some may be totally fine with eggs, some may do well with animal protein and some may thrive on a vegan diet. Some like to eat three meals per day and some do better with an afternoon snack. Some do well with intermittent fasting for longer periods of time than others. I believe there is a way of eating that can be nourishing and healing for you as a unique individual.
I want to encourage you to not let anything stop you from discovering what way of eating works best for you. If you are trying hard to control how much, how often and what you eat, have grace for yourself. Consider whether you are giving yourself enough healthy whole food and clean water each day. Pay attention to your energy level, how you feel and how the food that you're eating and what you are drinking affect you. Enjoy and savor your meals.
I spent most of my life trying to figure out how to control food to work for me. Knowing the truth about how food can help you or harm you can totally transform your life. Keep searching for answers on your wellness journey. Food can be pleasurable, comforting, delicious and healing, energizing and sustaining all at the same time. The more you nourish your body with the food you need, the more clarity of mind, energy, health, wellness and strength you will have.